Dear (Fill in the Blank)...

Sorry, today is going to be a bit random.  Sometimes, we all have to just let out a little steam. ;-)


Dear Costume Companies,
I get that you all want to sell the newest and best costumes; you want to have something that is "you" and cutting edge.  But for the love of God - please stop freaking sexualizing every costume.    In my opinion, you'll sell just as much, if not more with a GOOD costume.  And maybe you'll be part of teaching teenage girls that Halloween doesn't HAVE to be sexy!  Sure, some adult women may want to wear a sexy maid or sexy nurse costume and I don't begrudge them that.

But these are real offering this year.  And I beg you to STOP!  A minion should never be sexy...

With thanks,
Someone who thinks costumes shouldn't mean catching pneumonia

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Dear FitBit,
I think you're great! Even if you are pointing out how many steps I'm not taking and how much I'm not sleeping!  But I've got a tiny complaint.  I've linked you with Facebook.  I know I have friends who use FitBit too!  Why are you not finding them?!  Some of your challenges look pretty interesting...but who wants to compete with themselves?

If any of you use FitBit let me know!  I have mine set to a different email address than I blog with.

Thanks!
A girl who really wants to "out walk" someone

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Dear Politicians,
We are a YEAR away from electing one of you clowns our next President.  Sadly, I'm already referring to you all as clowns....  If one of you all could get your act together so I feel confident you won't f-up the country, that would be super cool.

In the meantime, I'm already getting PAC robocalls which are annoying me to no end.  Stop it!!

Thanks a bunch,
The lady who really wishes we could elect Josiah Bartlet as our next President (I'll be over here watching West Wing again)

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Dear Co-worker,
We work in a small office and it's pretty clear that we all have quirks.  If you could PLEASE stop encouraging certain people's more interesting quirks, as well as stop forcefully shutting your door like a petulant child when people don't have time to talk to you...well, that would be great.

Mucho gusto,
A lady who just wants a few less "what the hell" moments in her day

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Dear Marketing Teams,
I'm happy fall is here.  I am!  The cooling weather, leaves changing color, apple picking, Halloween, return of my favorite TV shows...the list could go on and on!  Now, I get that you all think that pumpkin makes a fun fall flavor.  But if you could all STOP making everything pumpkin flavored, I would really appreciate it!  It's not a competition, really!

Can I suggest alternative flavors?  Maybe apple, caramel or just refocusing your existing products with fall packaging?!

With autumnal appreciation,
Someone who very much dislikes pumpkin flavored products

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Have anything you want to get off your chest?!

Just STOP! A Photo Editing PSA...

I love Instagram filters and the auto "fixes" available on most smart phones.  I do.  Truly!  They have the ability to make your standard candid truly beautiful.  In the right hands, those filters or smart phone gadgets can crop, heighten the color, fix red eyes and a host of other really cool things!

Here's an image I found showing substantial, but natural looking changes to a selfie.  (image via)  For purposes of this post, I'm going to say it's an example of an "app success".

I know a number of amazing photographers who have Photoshop actions that fix minor blemishes, bring down the shine of their subject's perspiration, smooth the smallest of wrinkles and otherwise tweak pictures.  And I have no issue with that!  They key being that they are making small adjustments and have the sense to know what to adjust...or not.

Here, my dear friends is where I things start driving me up a wall...

For the LOVE. OF. GOD, please don't edit the crap out of your picture and then lie about it.  If you aren't a professional photographer, chances are, I spotted your edit a mile away.  If I've seen you in person - a picture of you without freckles, wrinkles or laugh lines just is not going to fly. 

(image via)

Here is an example of a makeup app "fail".  See how she is buffed to the point of blurry, has an unnatural drop shadow and an almost plastic quality?

Another example (image via).  Just not natural...

I also beg that a little practicality be utilized before using one of those auto-makeup apps.  If a baby is in your picture.  STOP.  If a man is in your picture. STOP.  Sadly, I've seen pictures on one person's Facebook wall this week that featured both a very small child and a man with makeup on because common sense was not utilized before A. using the make-up app and B. posting the darn thing to Facebook.

I guess I want to say - you're pretty just the way you are.  Please stop editing yourself to the point of being unrecognizable or unbelievable.  Or I'm going to come take your phone and delete the damn photoediting apps.  Just sayin'...

Well, THAT Was Interesting...

So, I participated in my first craft fair on Friday night.  I happily talked and talked...and talked to all the lovely folks who came to the fair.  Handed out my card.  Politely thanked people when they exclaimed how adorable my items were. 

But I only made THREE sales.   And two of them were to family!  {Whom I love, adore and am eternally thankful for their support!}  Disappointed doesn't begin to describe the feeling as I packed everything back up for the night. I don't even want to know how the lady did it - but she got 4 dozen {at least} Angry Birds hats from a manufacturer!  I had the dumb luck of being two tables down from this lady and didn't stand a chance against the cosmic pull of those darn birds. {FYI...I do actually like Angry Bird.}

Luckily...the night wasn't a loss!  I learned a few things:

• Make an early request to be close to the front door.  That way, people need to walk past you coming and going.
• This place could have made a killing if they charged the kids each time they participated in the cake walk. {For those of you not "in the know", a cake walk is like musical chairs...but slower and the child in the chosen space when the music stops wins a cake.}
• Sometimes, you end up next to REALLY "interesting" people.

My vendor space was directly next to a woman selling Lia Sophia.  Great jewelry, and the woman seemed nice enough. And then she started talking...  In the first 90 seconds of our introduction, she tells me that she works as a social worker and asks if I'd like to adopt.  SERIOUSLY!!!!  Five minutes later, she taps my on the shoulder and shares that her undies are too tight!

The vendor on my other side?  Tells me that she'll be at another craft fair tomorrow.  But one where she think she can sell her homemade bongs!

If nothing else... my evening was entertaining!

Oh, and just because I love you all {seriously, I do!}, you get 10% off my Etsy site through Monday night.  Just enter: SANTAPAWS2011 as your coupon code.  :-) 




I love this song!  It's one of my favorite Christmas "silly songs".

All That, And I Missed Christmas?!?!

Merry Christmas, everyone!  I hope Santa was generous and brought you everything you wished for.

My Christmas?  Well, let's say that it didn't go as planned.

Christmas morning, I showed up at my parent's house for presents.  Just as we were ripping into our stocking stuffers - Carmella decided to rip into Meadow's head.  Literally.  They are both alphas; so a tussle now and then isn't usually a big deal.

However...this time, I could see Meadow's skull, and it was time to make an emergency trip to the vet's.  Don't worry - my poor little pumpkin is fine.  She was heavily sedated, got stitched up and is now the height of canine fashion in her e-collar.

I was amazed (unpleasantly) by the amount of people that poured into the vet's office on Christmas Day.  We saw pups that had eaten chocolate; pups that ate poinsettia leaves; a cat that ate tinfoil; a dog that escaped and got stuck on a fence trying to return itself home. 

But what broke my heart was a little 7 month old border collie pup.  She got hit by a car and had her leg break clear in half.  Despite that, the sweet little thing was awake, alert and wagging her tail.  What happened next had me really upset.  The pup-daddy was the one that came in, got the consult and saw the vet's estimate.  I watched (and overheard; it just couldn't be helped) as he called the pup-momma and let her know how much it would be to operate to fix the sweetheart.  Pup-momma declared that she didn't a dog that was going to possibly limp all its life and ordered that pup-daddy have the dog put to sleep.  I anxiously observed as he fought to get his pup fixed.  I kept my eyes open as his wife again declared that he should "say goodbye" to his puppy.  And he did it.  He freaking did it.  He told the veterinarian to put that innocent, sweet, fixable puppy to sleep.

I wish I had the money and the guts to ask that man to give me his dog.  That I'd have her fixed.  My heart broke a little for that dog.  My heart broke a little that I couldn't jump in and help her.

I'll admit it.  I cried like a baby for a few minutes.

To keep an eye on a very drugged up Meadow, I had to skip the family dinner. Presents got sent home for me and I have been able to open my gifts from the people that I love and that love me.  Santa (aka my mom) was very generous and I got a Kindle!!  I can't wait to start playing with it.  Seeing as it's supposed to snow between 12-20 inches starting tomorrow, my Kindle should keep me good and entertained between trips outside to shovel.

Scenes From A Commute

I spend A LOT of time in my car commuting back and forth to work.  Luckily, I really like my car - and have fun driving.  :-)

I have seen some WEIRD stuff lately though!  In the few weeks I have been witness to the following:

• A week and a half ago - A driver with his left leg hanging out the window.  Yes, sir - I understand that your tall.  However, that's one party trick I don't need to see again!  I was afraid you were going to lose your leg when another car passed you.  (He wasn't really in danger of losing his leg...I just get nervous about that kind of stuff!)
• Last Saturday - A black lab in the back of a pick-up truck.  Not tethered, not leashed, not buckled in - STANDING UP as his/her owner went barrelling down the highway.  Maybe I'm a bitch - but I view this as animal cruelty.  No one EVER intends for their beloved pet to get injured - but putting that pet in a position that increases the odds is COMPLETELY unacceptable to me.  Plus...I kinda think it's illegal in Massachusetts.  I'll have to research that.
• Yesterday - Someone eating soup while driving home.  Not horrible...just weird!  And how do you not wear half your soup?  Do you steer with your knees so you can keep the bowl in one hand and the spoon in the other?
• Last Tuesday - A car coming from the opposite direction weaving in and out of traffic by the mall.  This driver was weaving and speeding so much that he/she lost control of the car and flipped over.  There is nothing at the mall that's worth almost killing yourself!
• Today - Three motorcycles popping wheelies in the middle of rush hour traffic.  Dumb asses happened to do this for the third or fourth time after a large bend in the road - and right into the sight line of a state cop.  I laughed for a good five minutes as they got pulled over. (Yes, I'm mean!)
• And the piece de resistance - last Thursday. Whilst sitting in traffic as I headed towards the Cape, I had the distinct pleasure *gag* of seeing a couple being intimate.  Sure, kiss and hug in the car.  That's your run of the mill PDA.  However, when my SUV looks down into your little red sports car and sees a bobbing head, you've crossed the line of acceptable behavior.  Um, hi!  It's light out!  You're engaging in a sexual activity in PUBLIC!  My lane of traffic moved faster than yours... at least 4 more cars had to pass you!  And finally - EWWWW!  Bring that car for a wash (inside and out) now-ish please!

So...see anything weird while driving lately?

Grocery Shopping

Most people think grocery shopping is boring, boring, boring. Me? I almost always find it immensely entertaining.

Why, you ask? Well, I love people watching. Sure you can go to the mall and people watch... but I find the best cross section of people at the grocery store.

Let me set the scene for you - it was almost 70 (HELLO Indian Summer!) and sunny today when I decided to go to the store. I ran into the following characters.

• A woman in a parka, scarf, hat, mitten and still shivering through the store.
• A gentleman in shorts, t-shirt and flip-flops. When I ran into him - twice - he was complaining on his cell phone about the store being way too hot.
• A pair of teenagers that I first observed at the deli counter. They got a pound of salami, and then proceeded to eat it all through the store. They were in front of me in line to check out and presented the cashier with just the bag the meat had been packed in.
• An elderly lady who I only saw once - but HEARD many times. She screamed for her husband to "hurry up or she was going to leave him here" at least a dozen times.
• A guy that was sent back to the grocery store 3 times because he bought the wrong soup the first two times!! He was so frustrated that he showed me his shopping list. Seriously! As his witness - all it says is "soup". If you want something specific lady; get it yourself or give your husband details. (FYI...this goes both ways. If I want something specific, I don't expect to utilize telepathy to make someone shopping on my behalf to know that.)
• My all time favorite - an ENTIRE family shopping. Aisles are narrow. I know I don't need a family of five making commentary as I pick out my bananas. Do you?

However, I had to leave the store smiling. I didn't get run over by any one's cart (hallelujah), spent less than my budget and the best part - CoffeeMate brought back their holiday flavors. I love me some Peppermint Mocha coffee creamer!!

How do you feel about grocery shopping? Necessary evil? Or do you think the cast of characters you see are worth the price of admission?

Twitter and People Watching

I have two topics on my mind today gang...

1. Twitter - Do I really need it? I don't have a Twitter account yet, and I sometimes feel like I'm missing out on the little updates from my bloggy friends. At the same time, I feel like I'm not interesting enough that you all would want to be double exposed to me. So, tell me... do I need it? What made you take the leap? Besides following your real life friends and bloggy friends, are you following any celebrities?

2. People watching - LOVE it! I was at the airport over the weekend, and to me, that is the pen-ultimate place to people watch.

I got to see some interesting stuff. One poor overtired mother put her infant (in car seat) on the conveyor belt while trying to get her suitcase off and deal with her toddler. If I could have gotten there fast enough, I would have grabbed the poor baby! Do you believe that NO ONE tried to get the baby off the conveyor belt?!?!

An Army MD on leave from Iraq and I had a quick, but nice conversation. When other people were STARING at her (which I find just plain rude!) , I just knew I had to go up and at least say hi. She spent the last 5 days getting home and was a little upset that her husband and child weren't at the airport waiting for her. I felt so bad, but gave her my heartfelt thanks.

Lastly, when in the world did the mullet come back and WHO ALLOWED IT TO HAPPEN???? I saw at least a half dozen guys sporting a mullet. Ewwwww. And with that, I leave you with the song that popped in my head as soon as I saw my first mullet of the day....