October 09, 2011

If You Drunk Dial....

...I AM going to mess with you!!!

Friday night I had the distinct *honor* of being drunk dialed by the same person four times between 1:45 and 2:30 in the morning.  Luckily, I'm an insomniac and was wide awake.  Unluckily (for him), I found this really funny and decided that to have some fun.

1:48 (Number I don't recognize)
Me: Um...hello?
Him: Hi babeeeeee.
Me: Who is this?
Him: Oh, babyyyyy.  Youz zoooo funny. Iz yo man.
Me: Wrong number.  Kthanxbai.

1:59 (Same number)
Me: Yes?
Him: Ah you maaaad at me?
Me: Nope.  I just don't know who you are.  Who are you anyway?
Him: Iz Mike.  *hiccup*  Ya man!
Me: Nope. 
Him: But babyyyy.  I loooove you.
Me: Right.  Who are you looking for?
Him: Don't be like dat.  You know I'z looking fa you.
Me: What's my name?
Him: Zara.
Me: Sara?
Him: You know yo name, babyyyy.
Me: Nope.  Not me.  Bai.

Me: Hi, Mike.
Him: I loooove you baby.
Me: I'm STILL not Sara.
Him: Zara, you my woman.  I lub you zo, zo much.
Me: Mike?!  I'm not Sara.
Him: You the best woooman ev-ah.
Me: Really?  That's sweet.  Tell me why you love me so much.
Him: You haz the prettiest hairz.  Is red, but brown, but red.
Me: Auburn?
Him: Hmph.  Zo pretty. Like fi-ah.
Me: And?
Him: You so un-dumb
Me: Anything else?
Him: You haz the biggest boobies (he used a different word).
Me: Good to know.  But I'm still not Sara and I'm watching a movie. 

Me: Hi Mike.  I'm still not Sara and if you keep calling, I'm going to keep laughing.
Him: But I loooove you.  Why can't I callz you?
Me: Mike, if you keep calling me I'm going to track down your girlfriend and make her break up with you.  Or maybe I'll just tell her that you love her flaming auburn hair and her big rack.
Him:You reallly not Zara????
Me: No, I'm really not Sara.  Adios!

He is now saved on my phone as "Mike the drunk dialer". I'm presuming that his girlfriend's number should have been programmed into his phone.  So what I really want to know...is how did he get me to begin with?!


  1. Lol. That is too funny. I would mess with him too

  2. That's funny! I had someone call real early one morning. I opened the phone only so it would stop ringing & hung up (I had an old phone then). Then he called back! I was really rude to him because I was not happy that he woke me up & it scared the crap out of me when the phone rang! My favorite are the people who leave a message on my phone when they are looking for someone else and my cell voice mail clearly states my first name! I always find that hysterical!

  3. oh my goodness! too funny. I certainly do not drunk dial or text #'s NOT programmed in my phone lol

  4. It's a good thing his girlfriend is "un-dumb" because he clearly is not!

  5. That is so ridiculous. One should realize after the first conversation you have the wrong number. Oh dear.

  6. Maybe Mike did a search for "undumb" women and you were the first name on the list. Brains are way sexier than a big rack :)

  7. hahaha maybe you should call him during the day sometime and share his little mishap with him.

    A few years ago, I started getting OBSCENE text messages. Like, so disgusting I'd never seen anything like it. Turns out it was a 7th grade kid who'd gotten my number confused with one just a digit different. Oh my gosh, that was awful. (And apparently 12 year olds are REALLY afraid of getting turned into the police. :) )

  8. Man. My experiences with drunk dialing are never that good!

  9. This is HILARIOUS! If he calls you again, YOU HAVE to post about it!

  10. You're so much nicer than me, I would have told him I was in love with someone else and that it was time for us to part ways.


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