...I AM going to mess with you!!!
Friday night I had the distinct *honor* of being drunk dialed by the same person four times between 1:45 and 2:30 in the morning. Luckily, I'm an insomniac and was wide awake. Unluckily (for him), I found this really funny and decided that to have some fun.
1:48 (Number I don't recognize)
Him: Hi babeeeeee.
Me: Who is this?
Him: Oh, babyyyyy. Youz zoooo funny. Iz yo man.
Me: Wrong number. Kthanxbai.
1:59 (Same number)
Him: Ah you maaaad at me?
Me: Nope. I just don't know who you are. Who are you anyway?
Him: Iz Mike. *hiccup* Ya man!
Him: But babyyyy. I loooove you.
Me: Right. Who are you looking for?
Him: Don't be like dat. You know I'z looking fa you.
Me: What's my name?
Him: You know yo name, babyyyy.
Me: Nope. Not me. Bai.
Me: Hi, Mike.
Him: I loooove you baby.
Me: I'm STILL not Sara.
Him: Zara, you my woman. I lub you zo, zo much.
Me: Mike?! I'm not Sara.
Him: You the best woooman ev-ah.
Me: Really? That's sweet. Tell me why you love me so much.
Him: You haz the prettiest hairz. Is red, but brown, but red.
Him: Hmph. Zo pretty. Like fi-ah.
Him: You so un-dumb
Me: Anything else?
Him: You haz the biggest boobies (he used a different word).
Me: Good to know. But I'm still not Sara and I'm watching a movie.
Me: Hi Mike. I'm still not Sara and if you keep calling, I'm going to keep laughing.
Him: But I loooove you. Why can't I callz you?
Me: Mike, if you keep calling me I'm going to track down your girlfriend and make her break up with you. Or maybe I'll just tell her that you love her flaming auburn hair and her big rack.
Him:You reallly not Zara????
Me: No, I'm really not Sara. Adios!
He is now saved on my phone as "Mike the drunk dialer". I'm presuming that his girlfriend's number should have been programmed into his phone. So what I really want to know...is how did he get me to begin with?!